Local Revision: Variety

In this blog post, I will evaluate my sentence structure in my project.

Julie Falk, "Variety." 8/6/2007. via flickr. Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 Generic.

I tend to write in more elaborate and complex sentences, and stay away from the simple sentences. While this is good in an essay format where the goal is to ensure the length is long, many of these sentences could be shortened into smaller sentences to keep the point understandable, especially in this genre where the goal is to allow the reader to breeze through it and gather information as quickly as possible. I believe that while there is nothing wrong with the sentences that I am using, there could be more variety in it. 

There are some transitions between paragraphs, however most of the paragraphs are not actual transitions and are more to ensure that the reader is able to go through the project easily and slide from one paragraph to the next. In this way, I believe that my paragraphs are set up in a very strong fashion for the genre, and for the audience as well. 

There is a bit of redundancy to my vocabulary, however it has come a long way in the period over this week and there has been quite a bit of a change in how everything is phrased. The goal is to ensure that repetition is not occurring all in the same paragraph, because then the reader feels that it is being redundant and pointless. This is a flaw that I still need to ensure is perfected by the time that my project is submitted, however it has come a long way within this week and I believe that the variety in my words will not present a problem that can not be fixed quickly and reasonably after heavy editing.